近況 ― 2009/08/27 00:31

歯の経過はまずまず、といったところ。依然として歯茎に違和感は残るものの、痛みも無く、普通に噛めるようになってきた。ただ、相変わらず、噛みしめの傾向があるようで、なんとかしないとまたダメになってしまいそうで不安。


火曜日。定例の診察。基本的な経過としては、ほどほどという感想。
この一ヶ月は多忙と緊張が常態化しており、睡眠時間が短くなり、就寝時刻がマチマチになり、かなり良くない傾向。投薬量はとりあえず維持することになった。

そういえば、パキシルからトレドミンに切り替えた後の異常な攻撃性、そして今はだいぶ落ち着いてきたものの、時折攻撃、破壊衝動が趨るのはやっぱり、薬の副作用にあるようだ。SNRIはノルアドレナリンを増やす働きがあるため当然とは思っていたが、SSRIや古典的な抗うつ剤にもそのような副作用があるという報告が無視できなくなり、厚生労働省が調査を始めたらしい。

抗うつ薬、旧タイプも攻撃性増す傾向　厚労省が注意喚起
http://www.asahi.com/national/update/0826/TKY200908260386.html

刑事事件を起こした人を擁護するつもりは無いけれど、自分自身、もし歯止めが効かなくなったら、と本気で心配しているところもある。薬だけに頼るのはダメで、ちゃんと身近な人間が常に観ていないと危険なのかもしれない。


元気になって意欲が出てきている実感はあるが、それを現実の多忙さと緊張が吸収しているように思える。バランスが崩れないようにブレーキをかけるべきか、でも、それはせっかく回復した意欲に水を差すことになり、結果的に落ち込むことになりはしないか、と思い不安。

とはいえ、１０月までは無私で頑張ろうと思っている。どこまでやれるかは分からないけれど。

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