減薬ステップその１ ― 2009/06/26 00:52

火曜日にあった今月の診察で、そろそろ減薬ができないかどうか相談してみたところ、やってみますか、という話になった。微熱が出るのは相変わらずで、周期的に大きな落ち込みがあるのは変わらないけれど、ある程度コントロールする術もできたということで。

これまでは朝夕で50mg（トータルで100mg)のトレドミンを服用していたのだけれど、とりあえず第１ステップということで、朝25mg、夕50mgに減薬して４週間様子を見ることに。

３日経過した段階で、特に強烈な離脱症状は出ていない。


とはいえ、先週、今週はなんだかイヤな気分になることが多い。ちょっとしたことで、悲しい気分になり、深く傷ついたような気がしてしまう。

でも、目に見えてそうなっているとは、他の人には、たぶん見えないと思う。理解されることまあもないだろうな、と思う。

こうやって病んだ状態を長く続けていると、他人の心などわかるわけが無い、ということをつくづく思い知らされる。科学とはかけ離れた世界。この数年間で、それなりにいろんな事を知ることになった。

わかりようが無いことを知った上で、それでも理解しようとすることが人としての徳なのかもしれない。

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